Surviving Life Episode 132

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Episode 132

Book Review:Tough Guys and Drama Queens

Tough Guys and Drama Queens: 
How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years.

By Mark Gregston

Me being a youth pastor I have a number of parents coming to me with questions about both their own children and the peers that their child knows from school, neighborhood, etc.  The fact is for the most part this generation is much different that any in the past and adults simply aren't sure what to do.  The norms of high school in the past are now the norms in middle school and even elementary, and worse the trend continues to get younger.  Kids are becoming exposed to porn, drugs, sex, foul language, adult themes, stress at younger and younger ages, and nothing seems to be stopping it.  Not only is it not stopping, but parents are at a loss for how to deal with the issues and are seeking help, advice, encouragement and anything else with which they can equip themselves.  Welcome  to the world this book was written for.

Mark Gregston started a counseling center in Texas, and has been working with high school students for well over a decade.  In some ways he has heard, seen, and done it all when it comes to this generations students.  His desire is to share what he's learned through the counseling center with any and all parents that all willing to listen through his book Tough Guys and Drama Queens.  Through twenty short chapters Mr. Gregston exposes the lacking components to some parenting methods and gives credible, reliable ways to improve your parenting methods creating a complete fulfilling parenting relationship with your teenager.

The book is divided into three sections.  The first is a general overview of the culture in which our teenagers now find themselves (another good look at the current culture is Tim Elmore's Generation iY).  This is one of the best parts of the book and probably the part that I will continue to turn back to often through my own ministry.  Gregston seems to have a clear understanding of the culture at large and provides readers with a clear understanding of why this culture is so different and varied in comparison to past generations.  The second section looks at what parents are doing wrong.  Basically this section tells parents to lighten up or get more involved depending on where you are in the spectrum of parenting.  So often our parenting style is a reflection of how we were parented, and many times that is lacking, especially in light of the first section where we find out it's a different culture.  After explaining why our parenting might be leading to the very outbursts our students exhibit, Gregston explains in the third chapter how to adapt and change our parenting methods.  Which is of course the most controversial part of the book, any book that tries to influence parents in a certain direction as far as parenting is concerned usually end up making people upset (see Shepherding a Child's Heart).

There is some great things found in this book.  The first section alone should be read by all adults working with teenagers just so that they can get an overall picture of how this generation sees and interacts with the world around them.  There will however, be some that are concerned with the third section and how it gives a more 'grace' filled approach to parenting.  Where a book like Shepherding a Child's Heart might be criticized for being unbalanced toward discipline and authority, Mark Gregston book will undoubtedly by criticized for being overly grace driven.  I believe though that some parents need books that are unbalanced in certain directions.  For some parents that are overly disciplinary this book might do well to bring them to a more balanced approach, however it probably wouldn't help a parent that solely acts out of grace and now has a student that walks all over them.  Overall though, I would highly recommend this book to anyone that works with students in their teenage years.  Teachers, parents, bosses, counselors, and everyone else working with students should take the time to study and think about this book.

I would rate this book four out of five stars.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Surviving Life Episode #131

Here I am Send Me!

The rallying cry of the missions conference reverberates within the walls of the sanctuary, as a missionary from a foreign field asks the congregation who will go to the harvest and they respond, "Here I am Lord Send ME!"  This phrase is used within churches, videos, and conferences throughout the nation.  In our bibles we've named it 'Isaiah's commission', because it's when the prophet Isaiah is stepping forward to voluntarily go to the people and go out for God.  This passage, which is found in the book of Isaiah chapter six verse eight, has been used as a rallying cry for countless pastors, missionaries, church leaders, and everyone in between.  It's a good verse, almost William Wallace like in its' fervor and climax.  

We often think it's a rallying cry to an epic God adventure to take part in transforming the world.  We see our ministries changing the lives of thousands, healing the sick, raising people from the dead, and literally changing the course of humanity for the better.  But what if God hasn't called you to those sort of feats?  Will you continue with all fervor then?  What if no one listens?  What if your message only causes them to further distance themselves from God?

Turn to the passage in Isaiah, see what God called Isaiah to do.  (Isaiah 6 if you forgot).

God says that Isaiah's audience will

-Hear his words yet not understand them. (vs. 9)
-See but never perceive (vs.9)
-Their hearts will be calloused and the eyes dull and closed (vs.10)

Isaiah then wonders for how long he is going to have to preach this message, and God replies

-Until the cities are destroyed, houses empty, crops ruined, and the people have left (vs. 11)
-Until the Lord send the people away and the land is forsaken(vs. 12)
-Until a tenth is left in the land... the stump of what once was... (vs.13)

If God were in our services asking people to the mission field, he may have wanted to leave those verses out of His message.  God just asked Isaiah to go and preach to people who will never listen, never change, and who will be decimated along with their land, not a great ministry is it? 

And yet, Isaiah was faithful to his call.

Isaiah wasn't called to start a mega church.
Nor was he called to lead a great revival.
God didn't even give him hope of changing one person.

God asked him to faithfulness.

Faithfulness in the midst of chaos.
Faithfulness in the midst of strife.
Faithfulness in the midst of failure.
Faithfulness in the midst of famine.
Faithfulness in the midst of doubt.
Faithfulness in the midst of loneliness.

Is your God given mission not going as you had hoped?  Were you expecting greater returns on the path you thought God had brought you on?  Is the ministry you started shrinking instead of growing?

What if that was God's plan all along?

What if that's what God has called you to and faithfulness is the only thing you can offer?

Is that enough?